Why am I up this early in the morning you ask? Well I sleep in my car! There you have it! I live there. “Why?” you ask again…because I have had bad roommates throughout my entire college years:
Year 1 (KEN): Dorms, lived with a fat guy who I swear has mental issues (yes my school is just that great). We met with the R/A (resident advisor) and found out that he was accustomed to showering every 3-4 weeks (I’m not kidding you, this guy REEEEEEEKED). Or Course he thought he was clean because he changed his clothes every day….BUT HE DOESN’T DO laudry for months!!!!! I keep the A/C @ 60 so that the room won’t smell too bad, I woke up one night and threw up on my bed…he had turned the A/C off and the heater ON, the room was 90 degrees and spelled like death!
Year 2 (HERBERT): I lived with a friend I’ve known since the 5th grade. to make the story short, he robbed me and the other roommate, my new computer was stolen and the other roommate had her 42″ TV stolen…how did we find out it was him? a.) nothing in his room was taken, not even his laptop! b.) the house was not “broken” into, he probably just walked in through the front door. The window screen was slashed open making it look like the thief went through the kitchen window, but the thin layer of dust on the counter that the thief would have to step on was untouched c.)we confronted him, he was scared but never denied it, just said “I don’t know what you are talking about d.) the other roommate heard him on the phone late at night telling someone “they know it was me…what should I do?” e.) he cleared out his room and moved out the next day…..hmmmm I wonder who did it!?
Year 3 (ALAN): Cheap roommate who tried to divide the utilities by the hours and didn’t want to pay the hours he was not home. “Well I was in San Francisco for the spring break week, I shouldn’t have to pay for that week” NO you NUMB NUT!!! You are originally from S.F. hundreds of miles away, you go back once every 3 months, my house it like 40 miles away, I go home every weekend, I have 9 hours of labs Mondays, Wednesdays AND Fridays. When I get back to the apartment, I sleep with the lights off. Should I just pay for the electricity I use when I turn on the lights to get ready in the morning? What about all the times I’m not at home!?!?! WTF?!
Year 4 (KAI’S FRIENDS): First two months, turns out my friend/roommate have two drug addict friends who live with him, I’m talking about hardcore drugs, not weed & extasy…. Spoon, Lighter and Syringe type of drugs. Those two guys don’t go to school, their parents send them $2000 a month from Taiwan thinking they are using it for rent and tuition, they come back with bags and bags of drugs every ”payday”. So now I’m going to live in my car and shower at the school’s sport & recreation center for the remainder of my senior year (and hang out at my girlfriends apartment 45 miles away on some nights).
Still two more hours to go ’til the rec center opens….I’m gonna take a nap…good night.
